Inhaling the Sea–Missing the Moment

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I walked out onto my deck and inhaled the sea air—the saltiness, the vague fishiness. I was there that moment to savor it, but instead I was overwhelmed by grief. In 2 weeks I would no longer live in this treasured house and my sorrow for that 2 weeks hence me broke my heart. 20 years later, my memory is of sadness, not of a sweet smile that could have lingered if I had merely taken a seat on my deck and contentedly inhaled the sea air—the saltiness, the vague fishiness.